The premise here is that when you are ready for marriage, potential candidates will show up. (Thinking of Kungfu Panda on Lao Tzu's quote: "When the student is ready the teacher will appear.")
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| Photo by LaShawn Dobbs on Unsplash |
Preparation is key. You won't wanna fall in love all too soon when you are not prepared for the gamut of interdependence / chores / responsibilities / new relationships that marriage entails (think lifestyle recalibration, house mortgage, household chores, bringing up children and the related finances, in-laws, new relatives, et cetera. It is not just going to be about the two of you.
Just a few things to highlight before we delve in:
1. If you are looking at falling in love with a foreigner, please do not jump in at first sight. Please check out the competition; you would not want to be in a shock when you find so many lookalikes in the home country of your special someone. Just saying so that you do your due diligence on this and harbour no regrets, thereafter.
2. If you are marrying the other person for wealth, then your marriage would be in jeopardy as riches may slide and fall.
3. If you are marrying the other person for beauty, then you are deluded that the elixir for eternal youthfulness is readily found.
4. The statistics of successful marriages is not on your side even with prenuptial agreement or contract.
5. Marry for love and all that it entails (think marriage vow and covenant relationship). If you can honour marriage in this way, then you a gem for marriage.
6. As the family is the basic building block for a society, community and nation it would require a rethink to mandate a marriage preparation course and certify the eligibility of a citizen for marriage. Pass the test, get your certificate and you can then go find a life partner to settle down with.
7. Marriage is ordained by God, our Creator. Truly include Him as the Third Person in your marriage, and you will have a solid and dependable stakeholder to help you along in your marriage.
Okay, let's now find out what are the suitable qualities of a life partner and how you can learn to become a suitable life partner with the following assistance from ChatGPT:-
"A happy and lasting marriage often hinges on several key qualities. Here’s a breakdown of those qualities along with examples of how they can be developed:
1. Communication
Quality: Open, honest communication fosters understanding and connection.
Development: Couples can practice active listening, where one partner speaks without interruption while the other listens and reflects back what they’ve heard. For example, setting aside time each week for a "check-in" can help discuss feelings and any issues.
2. Trust
Quality: Trust is foundational for a secure relationship.
Development: Building trust takes time and consistency. Couples can establish trust by being reliable—like showing up when promised or being honest about feelings. For instance, sharing insecurities and being vulnerable can deepen trust.
3. Respect
Quality: Valuing each other’s opinions, boundaries, and individuality is crucial.
Development: Couples can practice respect by regularly affirming each other’s strengths and appreciating differences. Simple acts, like asking for input on decisions or valuing personal time, can reinforce respect.
4. Conflict Resolution
Quality: The ability to resolve disagreements constructively is vital.
Development: Couples can learn techniques like “I-statements” (e.g., “I feel…” instead of “You never…”) to express feelings without blaming. They could also engage in role-playing to practice staying calm during disagreements.
5. Compromise
Quality: A willingness to find middle ground is essential for harmony.
Development: Couples can approach discussions with an open mind, listing out their priorities and finding solutions that incorporate both partners’ needs. For example, if one partner prefers quiet evenings and the other enjoys social outings, they might alternate plans weekly.
6. Quality Time
Quality: Spending intentional time together strengthens bonds.
Development: Couples can schedule regular date nights or shared activities, like cooking together or exploring new hobbies. This can be as simple as a weekend hike or a monthly movie night at home.
7. Affection
Quality: Physical and emotional affection fosters intimacy.
Development: Couples can make it a point to express affection through small gestures, like holding hands, hugging, or leaving sweet notes for each other. They can also discuss what types of affection resonate most with each partner.
8. Shared Goals and Values
Quality: Aligning on core values and future aspirations helps maintain unity.
Development: Couples can engage in discussions about their dreams and aspirations, creating a vision board together to visualize shared goals. Regularly revisiting these goals can help keep both partners aligned.
9. Support
Quality: Providing emotional and practical support is essential.
Development: Partners can practice being each other’s cheerleaders by celebrating achievements and being present during tough times. For example, attending events that are important to each other, like work presentations or family gatherings, can reinforce support.
10. Gratitude
Quality: Expressing appreciation can enhance positivity in the relationship.
Development: Couples can keep a gratitude journal, where they note things they appreciate about each other. Sharing these reflections regularly can foster a positive atmosphere.
By consciously working on these qualities, couples can strengthen their relationship and create a lasting, fulfilling marriage. It’s important to remember that growth is an ongoing process, and being willing to adapt and learn together is a significant part of the journey."
Thank you for reading Daily Refreshing.
Let's wrap this up with more inputs from ChatGPT:-
"Here are some witty and poignant quotes about happy and fulfilling marriages:
"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." — Ruth Bell Graham
"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband." — Unknown
"Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. It’s all about how much you love each other every single day." — Unknown
"In marriage, it's not about finding someone you can live with; it's about finding someone you can't imagine living without." — Unknown
"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade!" — Unknown
"The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." — Mignon McLaughlin
"Marriage: when dating goes too far." — Unknown
"The four most important words in any marriage: 'I’m sorry,' 'Forgive me,' 'You’re right,' and 'Let’s eat!'" — Unknown
"To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with." — Mark Twain
Feel free to use these quotes to inspire laughter and reflection in your journey together!"
Click here for Happy Couple Manual.
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