The Key to HAPPINESS

The key to happiness is having the ability to direct and manage our own neurophysiological state. When we are in a resourceful or enabling state, we are full of confidence, courage, power, enthusiasm, … and happy! On the other hand, when we are in a paralyzing, pathetic or limiting state, we succumb to fear, discouragement, negative self-talk, frustration, … and sadness L.

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” -- Aristotle

Now that we have the key to happiness, we need to learn to approach the door to happiness by understanding that our state or well-being is created by: i) internal representations; and ii) the condition and use of our physiology.

As explained by Anthony Robbins in his book “Unlimited Power”, Internal Representations consist of what and how we picture in our mind as well as what and how we say and hear in our mind. In short, what is our perception and assessment of our environment, that is, the events or circumstances affecting us.

“It is the mind that maketh good or ill, that maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor.” – Edmund Spenser

Given the myriad of signals or stimuli impacting us, the brain will filter and store what is useful and necessary at our behest and allows our conscious mind to ignore the rest. For example, when talking to someone seated with us in a buzzling café, we activate our brain to focus on the conversation at hand and ignore the load of distractions around us. Also, if we have just missed the train by 3 seconds, we could tell ourselves that we are early for the next train (and be happy) rather than blame ourselves and/or everybody else.

Physiology encompasses our posture, biochemistry, diet (what we eat), how we breathe, energy and muscular relaxation or tension. The condition of our physiology will affect the way we experience and represent our world. For example, when we do not have sufficient sleep, we will find that our ability to make decisions and handle stress will be impaired.

Another example would be to fast or cut down on our intake of calories by, say, eating less for lunch, and thereafter feel the extra oomph of energy as the body burns some fat. (Note: Fasting is a no-no for pregnant women and those of us who are underweight or having a medical condition where fasting is not advisable.)

Thus, we are in a state of flux as our internal representations and physiology are constantly interacting with each other and affecting each other to create the state that we experience.

However, we can take control of our state by directing our internal representations and taking care of our physiology. If we want to achieve a State of Happiness, we unlock the door to happiness by turning over our weak state with a mixture or blend of internal representations and physiology that would elevate us onto tip-top condition. More happiness to you every day!

For Your Inspiration  

The great news is that once we are in an energetic or happy state, our behaviour will reflect our inner state, enabling us to say positive things and pursue our passions – and make the world a better place one person at a time. Permit me to share with you, now, on what world changers such as Hellen Keller and Nick Vujicic has said about happiness.

Drawing inspiration from Hellen Keller who said that true happiness comes through “fidelity to a worthy purpose”, Nick Vujicic -- who was born without arms or legs,  wrote in his devotional (“Limitless”) that happiness means ”being faithful to your gifts, growing them, sharing them, and taking joy in them. …You’ll find contentment when your talents and passion are completely engaged and in full force.”

 Bibliography

1.   Section I, Chapter III, “Unlimited Power” by Anthony Robbins

2.   Chapter 6, “Limitless” by Nick Vujicic  

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* You Can Have A Better Brain!

W.A.T.C.H. and Live Well

As we sail through life, there are certain things we can watch out for in order to smooth out the ride. The acronym W.A.T.C.H. and the words for each letter (Words, Attitude, Temptation, Character and Household) are accredited to Dr. Mike Murdock and they are adapted for this article.

WORDS are powerful. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21a,KJV). What we say may either build a person up or tear him down. We can use words to thank, encourage, affirm or praise another person for their kindness, thoughtfulness, generosity or forbearance. 

However, by the same tongue we could ride roughshod over other people’s feelings with words that condemn, ridicule, insult or character-assassinate them. Alarmingly, there are horrific real life stories of how tactless and negative words had triggered people to commit suicide.

That said, in some instances, our refrain from speaking or silence in itself could speak more than words. We can do better to improve on how to use words for good and in a manner which is befitting each and every person and situation thereto. Remember, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11, KJV)

Be it positive or negative, ATTITUDE could make a world of difference when we face difficulties, challenges or seemingly insurmountable problems in life. As Sir Winston Churchill has said, “Difficulties mastered are opportunities won. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

For illustration, we can take a leaf from the proverbial three bricklayers. Asked what he was doing, the first bricklayer said that he was laying bricks under the hot sun. The second bricklayer has a broader perspective and said that he was building a wall. The third bricklayer paused and said, with a twinkle in his eye, that he was constructing a cathedral.

Attitude or the lack of it could stem from whether we can see a desired outcome or goal in spite of our present reality. It has to do with having an enlarged perspective and a greater vision of the future. “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18a; KJV)

Do not mess with TEMPTATIONS. Flee from them without any second thoughts. A glance at the dictionary would define temptation as “the act of enticement to do wrong, by promise of pleasure or gain”. 

One of the best illustrations of temptation which I can recall vaguely is on how the hunters would entice wild animals with meat wrapped around a blade. As the animal feed on in a frenzy of hunger, they will unwittingly take the bait and succumbed to it.

To have a less troublesome life, it is best to steer clear of temptations and rehearse our counter-approach in advance so that they can kick-in automatically. For example, I like buying books and have more books than I can read. My strategy is to resist the temptation of stopping by bookshops and banish the thoughts of entering another bookshop, at least, until I have cleared my modest line-up of books left unread.  

Not too long ago, there was this ingenious advertisement for MasterCard where it says to the effect that there are some things which money can’t buy; for everything else, there is MasterCard. 

Well, CHARACTER is truly something which money cannot buy. It has been said that while a person can be promoted to a high position, it is his character which enables him to stay at the top.

What is character? According to Hellen Keller, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” 

Character is non-negotiable and sacrosanct for a life well-lived. Ralph Waldo Emerson reckoned that: “Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.” Higher than the aforesaid, Billy Graham observed that: “When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.” 

In short, be true to oneself and walk the talk regardless of whether other people are watching or not -- that’s integrity of character in a nutshell.

Apart from ourselves, we need to keep an eye on our HOUSEHOLD which could mean our own family and/or our extended family. The family is the basic building block of society and the health of our nation would depend on the values and lifestyle we impart to our children and how well we keep a lookout for one another in the family.

As it is, the pressures of life can weaken family ties if we do not actively make time for the family. (Believe it or not, computer-addiction have caused some few young parents to neglect their babies.) In addition, a small minority is trying to hoodwink us that there is an alternative to the conventional family structure of one man and one woman.  

By staying emotionally connected in a supportive family environment, we could live a happier life. And, by maintaining and perpetuating the conventional family structure, we would help to stabilize our society rather than mess things up even further.

The aforesaid W.A.T.C.H. is by no means comprehensive. For instance, ‘H’ could also stand for Health. Nevertheless, we can use W.A.T.C.H. as a reminder to use words wisely, keep a great attitude with proper perspective, flee from temptations, uphold the commendable aspects of our character at all costs and take care of our household. Happy sailing!