We can communicate with each other at different levels ranging from: small talk (weather talk and talking about other ho-hums of the moment), talking about other people (gossips), sharing of ideas or thoughts and conveying how we feel about a matter or situation, to total truthful communication.
While we may have gotten our act together to communicate, we often come away low and dry. Why? I think this is because we have not reached the end goal of communicating -- which is to connect with the other person. It would seem to me that one of the greatest needs of a person is to be understood. Yes, while we may not be that interested to understand another person, the other person would definitely be much better off when he perceives that we have understood him. We can be the change that we want to see in our circle of influence.
Where did we fall short, then? I think we fell short in the area of pro-active listening. For example, we may have heard and understood that the other person would really like a red BMX bicycle. Then, we promptly tell the other person that what we would really like is a yellow skateboard. Imagine the far-reaching impact if we had suspended our self-gratification and probed by asking the person why he really wanted a bicycle – and a red BMX, at that!
Had we chosen to show our interest for the other person’s preference or desire for a red BMX bicycle, I am sure he would have really opened up and let us into a deeper layer of himself -- his psyche, clinically-speaking. This is where a heart-to-heart connection is made. And, we’ll come away with a virtual slice of the other person’s soul which had hitherto been kept under wrap.
It’s so crucial for us to sense such a pivotal moment where good communication can potentially swing over towards great communication. So, let’s listen up the next time! And, we will be in for communication with our heart and soul.
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